apple banana

Apple banana is a ubiquitous term in Hawaii used by everyone from backyard gardeners to professional chefs. It refers to the Brazilian banana variety, which thrives in the local climate and is prized for its firm texture and tangy, apple-like sweetness. Locals strongly prefer these over imported Cavendish bananas, which are often dismissed as bland or mushy. You will hear this phrase at farmers markets, roadside stands, and grocery stores across the state. It is completely appropriate in any setting, though offering someone a regular imported banana when apple bananas are available might earn you a look of mild disappointment.

"Brah, what is this?" Makoa yelled, holding up a massive, perfectly yellow Chiquita banana like it was a biohazard. The usually quiet aisles of the grocery store in Kaunakakai echoed with his disbelief. "I told you for grab the apple banana! Who eats this giant waxy kine stuff? Tastes like straight cardboard!"

Kainoa threw his hands up, nearly knocking over a display of crack seed. "Wasn't me! Blaine was the one who went produce section! I was busy fighting one aunty for the last bag of taro chips!" Blaine, looking completely lost, peeked around the endcap holding two more bunches of the offending imported fruit. "They were on sale," he muttered defensively. "And they look way better than those stubby little black ones you guys always buy."

"Stubby little black ones?!" Makoa looked ready to faint right there next to the Spam display. "Those stubby ones get all the flavor! You cannot make banana lumpia with this giant mainland nonsense, Blaine! Now we gotta go back to the east end empty-handed and tell tutu we ruined dessert because you wanted the fruit that looks like one cartoon!"